How To Talk About Sex With Your Partner?

It’s commonly said that bad communication about sex is a sign that you are communicating everything else badly too. Honest and open communication is the key to building trust and intimacy. Yet, even in the most loving relationship, "How to Talk About Sex" might feel difficult to start and awkward to continue. Let’s together explore when to broach the subject of sex and ways to address a lack of intimacy.

How To Talk About Sex?

how to talk about sex with your partner?

Choosing the right place matters a lot. This can vary from one person to another. If you and your partner are outgoing, then choose a nice date night, and if you guys are more of a Netflix and chill kind of couple, then be at home, light some candles, and set the right environment.

Tip: To avoid distraction, go on a date night with a rule to talk only about sex. In case you plan to chill at home, then relax at home, play cards, and bet that losers speak of insecurity or sexual fantasy. Setting rules will limit the awkwardness between you.

Make sure you begin the conversation in a positive tone. Express your love to your partner. Get clingy and compliment him or her over a comfort drink.

1. Use "I" statements

Express your thoughts and feelings using "I" statements to avoid sounding accusatory. For example, say "I would love to explore new things together" instead of "You never try anything new."

2. Be a Good listener

Ask your partner to share their thoughts and feelings about sex. Listen actively without interrupting or judging. Show a positive response like "Wow! That’s exciting" or "I would love to try that." If you feel your partner is unable to talk about sex, you can ask them questions, which he or she might respond to. Like, what are your thoughts about role play?

A question-and-answer round will start your sex talk on the fun foot.

3. Explore your desires and fantasies.

Openly share your desires and ask your partner to do the same. Expressing fantasies can lead to a deeper connection and increased intimacy.

How To Talk About Sex In A New Relationship? 

how to talk about intimacy with your partner?

If you're starting a new relationship, discussing sexual preferences and expectations early on can prevent misunderstandings later. Talk about the topic delicately and check your partner's comfort level.

  • Engage in sex talk after a few meetings. Start with non-sexual intimate activities to foster emotional closeness.
  • Ask open-ended questions to initiate a conversation, like "What are your thoughts on physical intimacy in a relationship?"
  • Try to be supportive and understanding, as your partner may have a different view and past experience with sex. Make sure you make your partner feel safe and relaxed while having such a conversation.

How To Talk About The Lack Of Intimacy?

Lack of intimacy is not merely shyness; it can be stress, performance anxiety, or any poor past experience. Try to point out the root cause for yourself before discussing it with your partner. Approach the conversation with compassion.

Remember, you are a team. 

There should be no room for judgment or blame. Think of yourselves as teammates, as no partner is a problem. Speak about anything that goes through your mind so that it feels like a play and not like a competition to perform.

A short guide on how to get started:

  • Plan the set-up.
  • Plan your look. Make sure you look fresh and dressed nicely so that the chat progresses with an act.
  • Don’t complain or keep a negative attitude.
  • Make sure the environment is comfy, and avoid engaging with your mobile.


The conversation about sex might be daunting, but remember that open communication will only do good for your relationship. Be honest and respectful. Keep it funny for a light tone, yet reflect upon the significance of the act as sex is not just physical unity but rather a union of body and soul. In the end, remember and remind your partner that sex in a relationship is a blessing; cherish it and make it better with some effort.